The window to a ff addict's soul
by jwebb78
Summary: Bella is addicted to fanfiction and is missing something in her life. This is her story. Can her husband Edward help her with this, or will he get scared off? I suck at summaries. If you are under 18 or do not like lemons or language DO NOT READ. AH
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything Twilight or True Blood. The only thing I own is my mind.

**AN: ok this is my first fic and lemons. So be easy on me. I was going to do a one shot but decided on chapters. Review and let me know what you thing. If I need something tell me. Don't be shy.**

**This is rated M for a reason: if you are offended by the F word and sex then DO NOT READ!**

Hi my name is Bella, and this is the story of my so called sex life and how I made it better with my addiction to fanfictions. First let me start with I am 35 married and have a daughter, so most of you can know what I am going through. I thought my life was normal and I was content that is until I started reading fanfictions. They opened my eyes to what sex and life could be.

I have come to the realization that I am addicted to fanfiction. This is where everyday people take their favorite books or movies and write stories about them. I started reading these stories about a year ago. I love them. They are my get away from my life for an hour. I love my family, truly I do. But I would love to have my life like some of the stories I read.

In these stories the marriages are great. The husband shows his wife he loves her every day in every way. He is always touching her even if it is to hold her hand, come up behind her and wrap his hands around her waist, or just hold her while watching T.V. He looks at her like he would be lost without her, like there is no one else for him but her. Their sex life is great. He kisses her everywhere and tells her she is beautiful. He lets her know what she does to him. I want that.

My life, yeah not like that at all! We hardly talk about anything important. I have never been told I am beautiful, and sex is quiet, not often, and I have no clue what I do to him or even where to touch him to drive him nuts. I know these are fictions for a reason. But there has to be some truth behind them.

I have never been touched and forgot everything. I have never had an orgasm that made me see stars and completely get lost in the feeling. I would be happy if it just happened once. It would be fanfuckingtastic if I was looked at like he needed me to even function. I do not start sex for a few reasons. I have no clue where to start with him. I do not feel wanted or desired. How can I start something that sometimes comes off like he is doing it just because he has to do it? That's how it feels sometimes. It's like he gets me off so he can be done fast. Sometimes I don't even get off and he has no clue. He does not pay enough attention to me to even notice. Come on now how can a guy not know?

So this is why I read fanfics so much. If I can't have it at least I can read about it. Rite? So here I sit reading another fic.

*_Fanfiction*_

_ Washing dishes lost in my own mind yet again, I did not hear Eric come in. I did however feel his eyes on me. I knew he was behind me, within inches of me just watching me. I acted like I did not know he was there. That is until his arms were around my waist. He brought his nose to my neck and inhaled deeply "Mmmmm, Sookie you smell good enough to eat" he said. Which caused me to moan and he chuckled. But I continued to wash the dished. Then Eric started kissing my neck to my shoulders to in between my shoulder blades and stopped. He then went to the other side of my neck and made the same path._

_ Needless to say I forgot all about the dishes and enjoyed the feel of his lips on me kissing and tasting me. When he reached his stopping point he brought his hands up and spun me around to face him. He went to my neck again but this time he made a path to my lips. The kiss started out soft, and then got hungry. His hands ever so slowly made their way to rest on my ass. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him, my mouth never leaving his. He walked us to the table and sat me down. He spent 10 minutes kissing and biting every part of me from my mouth to my hot sex, saying "I can never get enough of your beautiful body and the way you taste."_

Good god, why can't Edward do that shit? The sad part is that by just reading that I am so wet and in need of a release. So off to my shower I go. I love my shower head, that thing does some fucking awesome things to my body. I have always thought about buying a toy, but did not want Edward to find it.

I have tried to drop hints by leaving the story up on the computer just in hopes that he will read it. No such luck. It has gotten so bad with what I want and need but am too shy to ask for or talk about that I am often daydreaming about sex. And not just any sex the fuck me till I can't walk sex.

I have even started to daydream about other men. Like the other day we were at Jake's house just hanging out in the kitchen. Well my mind went to Jake slamming up against the wall. Then putting me on the counter after he pulled up my skirt and ripped my thongs off then dropped to his knees. He devoured me like he needed me to breath. After making me cum 3 times he picked me up and slammed me into the wall. Without warning he would plow into me filling me completely. I was pulled out of my daydream when Edward asked me if I was ready to go. And so the end of another daydream that left me horny as hell with no release.

So I just wonder if this is how my life will be. I need to figure out how to be brave enough to show Edward what I want, and hope I do not scare him off.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone please tell me why we wake up ass crack early in the morning. Is this something that is programmed in us as we get older? Well off to start a new day. YAY! (Note sarcasm)

Ok so it's 6 O'clock in the fringing morning! I head to the kitchen to make coffee, but first boot up my computer. This is what I do every morning. Coffee is going so now I bring up my Yahoo. Of course the first thing I look for is an update to any of the stories I am reading. Hell yeah UPDATE! My day is always better with an update. I don't know why but it is. Sometimes I feel bad though because I get out of bed quietly so I do not wake Edward up so I can have an hour to read in peace. Ok enough of that I'm going to read.

_*Fanfiction*_

_SPOV_

_I wake up and it is still dark out. I feel like I am in the safest place on earth. I wonder for just a second why I feel so safe and warm when I feel arms pulling me tight to a hard warm body. Eric *sigh* I realize in that moment that I love him. But we have only been seeing each other for a month and I am not going to tell him just yet. He might run out the door. I love waking up in his arms._

_While he sleeps I think about the night before. I swear that man can make me cum by just looking at me. He plays my body so well; I think he has made a map or something. I am brought from my thoughts when I hear Eric say my name. I turn and he is still asleep, wow he is dreaming about me. I roll so I am facing him and start kissing his jaw and work my way down to his chest and back up again. Why knew I would ever want sex right after I wake up and to be as bold as I am being right now. "Mmmmm I could wake up like this every day." Eric said looking at me._

Shit my coffee pot went off, I go to make a cup of coffee and wonder why I can't wake up in Edward's arms. I am the type that likes to be held. However Edward will hold me for a few minutes and roll over and go to sleep. It really sucks. I have my coffee and I hear Edward get up out of bed so I decide to be nice and make him a cup. He walks out into the kitchen and I hand the coffee to him and he says "Thanks." Wow really that's it he says thanks and walks off. What the fuck. Sometimes I just want to grab him and ask him what the hell his problem is. But then he goes and does something really sweet and I feel bad for thinking that.

Ok so I have to wait to finish reading my update because I have to start my day. I go and get my daughter up and get her ready for daycare. This is something I do by myself all the time because daddy does not do her hair right. I have to laugh at that, kids are so random sometimes. I mean what little girl her age thinks about how her hair is done? She is just too cute.

I go to work and all day all I can think about is when I can finish reading the update. My day goes by pretty fast and before I know it, it is time to go home. I got a text from Edward saying he would pick Mia up from daycare today. So I went straight home and started to read. I got to a really good scene and decided I would leave it up on the computer knowing Edward would get on while I was cooking. Maybe he will read this one.

After putting Mia to bed I sat down with Edward to watch T.V. I slid next to him and put my head on his shoulder, he just sat there. I stayed where I was thinking maybe he would put his arm around me in time. But no such luck. We decided we were going to bed. We get in bed and he is lying on his side. A tell tale sign that he wants sex. He starts rubbing my arm and pulls me to him and kisses me. Just when I get into the kiss he stops. WTH this happens every time. He rubs my body for a few seconds then gets between my legs and rubs his self on me till I am ready. That is his idea of fore play. After twenty minutes of him just moving, no rhythm no nothing he rolls off of me, kisses me once. He cleans his self up and goes to sleep. I am left with no release so I go to the bathroom and do it myself. What someone has to. Right?

I am back in bed and I just lay there. Somehow I have to do something to fix this. I love Edward so much that sometimes I feel like I can burst. But the sex needs to change. So I think until I fall asleep.

_*Beep Beep Beep* _Damn I feel like I just fell asleep. I turn off the alarm clock and roll over. I have got to fix this. Right now I just want to roll him over and jump him. But I can't do that. Yes I am a little shy when it comes to sex. I lay there and watch him sleep for a few minutes then get up and start my day. I have another update! OK WOW! I just read a chapter that has me so hot right now. I am surprised that I like the scene they described. But I am mad at where they ended the chapter.

_*Fanfiction*_

_Sookie was going over to Eric's for a movie, she knocked on the door and a few seconds passed and Eric opened the door. "Hey" he said and she replied the same. He let her in and told her he would be back in a second to make herself at home. Sookie sits on the couch and waits. Eric comes back with two beers and gives one to Sookie and turns off the lights after he puts the movie in. They sit on the couch and watch the movie. Half way through the movie Eric leans over and whispers "Sookie do you trust me?" Sookie says "sure I do. Why?" Eric replies "There is something I want to do and I need you to trust me. If you want me to stop just tell me. Ok?" Sookie just nods her head. _

_Eric pulls a silk scarf out of his pocket and ties it over her eyes. Sookie gasp. "Sookie are you ok?" "Yeah" is all she could muster. She was shocked at how excited she was about this. She feels Eric move and she just sits there. There is nothing else she can do. Eric sat back down next to Sookie. "Sookie lay down" she did as he said. Eric placed kisses on her face all but her lips then down to the top of her shirt. "Take your shirt off Sook." She sat up and took her shirt off and lay back down. Eric grabbed a can of whipped cream and put it on her from her neck to the top of her jeans. He slowly licked away the whipped cream starting at her neck and covered every inch of her upper body with his mouth. Sookie could feel everything even more with no sight. Eric then slowly took her jeans off and rubbed from her feet to her hips. Going nowhere near where she needed him the most._

_He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom and put her on the bed. He climbed in next to her and told her to lay back with her knees up. She did as he said; she was so turned on right now she thought she was going to jump out of her skin. He then took her wrist and tied them to the bed. Sookie was very shocked by this but welcomed it. For the next fifteen minutes Eric teased her body till she was begging for him. Eric got off the bed and Sookie whimpered._

I mean come on they could have finished the scene. I can hear Edward getting out of bed and I try to clam myself.

"Good morning Bella"

"Morning Edward"

"Bella what's wrong you look a little flushed?"

"Uh.. N..nothing is wrong."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure" Bella said this with a heavy sigh.

"I'm going to get a shower before I get Mia up." She turned and walked to the bathroom. While in the shower she came up with a plan to have her mom take Mia for the weekend and try to fix whatever is wrong with their sex life. Maybe she would need to stop and pick up some liquid courage to help her along.

**A.N. OK so what do you think so far. And anyway you would like to see this go?**


	3. Chapter 3

So here I am sitting at work trying to think about this weekend. With it being the middle of the week I have enough time to figure something out. I hope. First things first, call mom….

"Hello"

"Hi Mom, are you busy?"

"No honey, what do you need?"

"I was wondering if you could take Mia for the weekend?"

"Of course I can. I was going to call and see if I could take her. I have not had her for awhile."

"Thanks Mom."

"Not a problem. Bella, is there anything wrong? You sound off today."

I didn't know it was obvious. Hmmm guess a mother always knows.

"No Mom everything is fine, just a lot on my mind. Work ya know."

"Ok honey. I will call you on Friday to set up a time to get her."

"Ok thanks, bye"

Ok so now that is all set. Now I just have to come out of my shell and think of what I am going to do. Of course I have to go back through my favorite stories and find one to help me along. Do I talk to him first or jump on him first? Well I guess I better do some work so I will still have a job.

**EPOV**

There is something wrong with Bella, but what t he fuck can it be. I have tried to figure this out for awhile now. She seems sad in a way. And I hate it! This morning she was so off and she seemed a little flushed and just ran out of the room. I will have to talk to her, because I must be just dense, I just don't get it.

First things first, I have to check my e-mails. I have a little extra time this morning before I have to be at work. Hmm. That's odd Bella never leaves her screen up when she leaves. I wonder if she saved everything. I go to just switch screens so I do not mess anything up that she has. What the fuck is my wife reading here. I went to switch and a line caught my eye:

_*fanfiction*_

_He then took her wrist and tied them to the bed. Sookie was very shocked by this but welcomed it. For the next fifteen minutes Eric teased her body till she was begging for him._

No wonder she was flushed this morning. I never read what Bella has on here, but today I must. Well fuck me; I never knew Bella was into this. Things would have been so different if I knew this. I always saw Bella as shy and sweet. Well maybe she is shy and sweet outside and a sex kitten inside. This is fucking hot! I was good with the sex we were having thinking that's what she wants. But now there is going to be something more.

Ok now a change of plans. I must get in my Bella's head. I call my boss and take the day off. There is no way I can go all day and not see what else she has read. There has to be a way to find out.

After awhile searching I feel pretty stupid right about now. There is a place that holds all of her favorite stories. Why didn't I look there first you may ask. Well that is simple to answer…. I'm a man. Does that help?

*Three hours later*

Holy hell! After reading this I wonder what kind of people are out there. I have been hard for the past 2 and half hours. I now know why Bella does not hear anything I say when she is in front of the computer. I could not look away from these stories. I stuck to the ones they call one-shots for the simple fact that I did not have all day and I did not want Bella seeing me read this shit. Not yet anyway. I have a plan forming. I just hope I can get this right.

But for now I still have 2 more hours before Bella gets home. I am going to look around this site and figure it out.

**BPOV**

Work fucking blew! I did not get anything done. My mind was on nothing but what was going to happen this weekend. Oh yeah and I kinda finished my story. But Shh don't tell my boss. I think I might go to the mall to shop for this weekend. I wonder if Edward can pick Mia up today.

**TEXT**

**Can u grab Mia 2day? I want 2 go 2 the mall. B.**

**Sure thing. Do u need me 2 start cooking? E.**

**I think I should b back by then. B.**

**Ok just let me know. E.**

Ok so that was easy. Now to see if I can cut out of work early.

Well hell that was easy too. Ok so now what is going to go wrong? Well off to the mall. I have been in Victoria Secrets before but that was for just lotions. I can feel heat in my cheeks before I am even to the store. Oh this should be fun!

I walk in and am greeted right away by a runway model. I feel real small right about now.

"Hi, I'm Rose. Do you need any help finding anything today?"

"Hi, I don't think so. I am just here to look right now."

"Ok just let me know if I can help with anything."

What the hell! I can't wear half of this shit. I think they make everything with models in mind. I mean I have an ok body I guess. I did have a kid after all. And that is hell on the body. After 15 minutes of looking Rose walks over to me. Shit!

"Are you finding everything ok?"

"No. Who the hell do they make this shit for?" And there goes my no filter and red checks. But she laughs. What the hell is she laughing for?

"Miss….."

"Bella"

"Bella, they make this shit as you say for everyone."

"There is no way I can wear any of this."

"Yes you can. Let me help you."

"Ok." I feel defeated and small again.

Rose smiles and says "come with me." She lets the other girl she is working with know that she is going to help me and she will be back. Yeah cuz this is going to take forever!

"Ok Bella, why are you here?"

"Umm.. to buy something nice?"

She smiles again. "I mean why did you come here?"

Ok what do I say? I am at a loss. But me with no filter today I spill everything.

She gives me a big grin and says "Oh yes I can help you!"

After 10 minutes and countless times in the dressing room, with Rose having to see everything I put on we find what I need.

"Bella, I do not understand your comment before. You have the body to pull off most everything in this store."

I look at her like she is stupid and burst out laughing. "You're joking right? Did you see me in these things? Were you even paying attention?"

"Why yes Bella I was. And you have a nice body. Your husband won't know what hit him when he sees you in this."

Rose and I talked a little more, and then she rang me up with a big discount. We hit it off and we exchanged numbers. She said she just knew we were going to be good friends. She wished me luck for this weekend and said I better call her Monday and let her know how it went.

Now that is done I have to find something to pick up to cover up why I went to the mall.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N. OK I know I have not updated in awhile, but school is killing me here. So I figured I would take a little break and write some. This will be short and I am sorry. And no this is not the weekend yet. LOL. Sorry!!! But don't cuss me too much it will come.**

I could not believe what I just bought. WOW. Now to just pull this off, easier said than done. First off to cover up my stop, good thing there is a birthday at work. I will just stop into Bath and Body to grab the girl a gift.

As I'm looking my phone rings with Crazy Bitch loud. This is my girl Alice. (I know you do not know who she is. But she is my best friend and the craziest girl I have ever known.)

"Hey Ali"

"Remind me again that I love my kids."

"Just repeat after me I love my kids, I love my kids."

"Rite, so what are you doing?"

"Well right now I am getting a cover gift" and then I was cut off with a squeal.

"OMG that's right, how could I forget? So how is the planning going?"

"Well I have the clothes, but still need to figure out what I am gonna do."

"Oh you should so use the scene from that story we just finished. You know the one."

"I was thinking about that."

We talked for awhile; every time we talk we never finish a topic. Never! But we will just pick it up next time. While I was still on the phone I got a text from Rose. Odd I thought, I just left the store. But she sounded just like Alice…"I want to know everything about this weekend. Don't make me hurt you." Well damn.

I walk in the door and am hit with the best smell…. Edward is cooking on the grill. Mia hears me and comes running.

"Mommy what took you long? What did you gets for me?"

"Nothing baby, I got a girl at work a gift for her birthday'"

Well that was easy, she ran off to the backyard. When Edward came in he had a plate full of steaks. Mmmmm.

"Hey, I thought I would cook tonight."

"Thank you."

We ate and watched a movie with Mia then put her to bed. I went to the kitchen to clean up. But Edward stopped me.

"Why don't you go up for a bath and I will clean up. Take your book and I will bring you coffee." Well damn! Hell yes you don't have to tell me twice.

"Thank you."

I went up and read in the bath and true to his word he brought me coffee. I think I sat in there for almost an hour. I turned on the shower to wash off and felt cold air. I turned around and there was Edward.

"Here let me help'" He took my puff and washed me slowly. This was so unlike him. But I was not going to stop him. He finished washing me and leaned in and whispered..

"Tonight I am going to take care of you, make you relax then I am going to fuck the hell out of you." Well fuck me, and thank you. I was shocked to say the least. But did you hear me complain? NO! I think I only moaned in response.

He turned off the shower and dried me off. He then carried me. Yes you heard me right; he fucking carried me to be. He has never carried me before. This is could get use to. He laid me on the bed and got in with me and then was hovering over me.

"I know I don't tell you often if at all, but you are so beautiful Bella."

"Mmmm" What the fuck, well this was the first time I have never had words.

He started by kissing me, very soft and slow. Then, made a trail down my neck, down my stomach, down my legs, and back up. OK I have heard people say they felt like jelly but never believed them. But let me tell you now I'm a believer. Shit!

"Why have I never done this?" I don't think I was meant to hear that. He was making a second pass, but stopped at my center. He looked at me with this look in his eyes I have never seen before. Again I was at a loss for words. When did I become stupid? I thought to myself. The next thing I knew he licked me softly and made me whimper, fucking whimper. Then like nothing I have ever seen before he (as some would say) went to town. It was like he was watching me to see how I would react to what he was doing. If I moaned loud he would do it again. He continued this until I lost it. This was the orgasm of all orgasms. I think I even saw stars.

"Wow… That was…. Shit… Fuck me…"

"I plan to." Well hell with that said he had his cock right there where I needed him, but fuck he stayed still. I looked at him and he had this grin on his face. He knew what he was doing.

"Edward, fuck me now!"

"As you wish." Then he entered me slowly. He went slowly for a minute then all hell broke loose. He fucked me like I have never been fucked before. But he was still quiet. Hmmm. But with being fucked like this I could not think of that for too long. He made sure I came twice before he did.

When we were done he held me, again I was shocked. But I was also confused. Where did that come from? I loved it, don't get me wrong, but what the hell? And here comes my shy side again, I could not bring myself to ask him.

**I know bad place to end it. Sorry but I have to get back to my paper. Review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. I am so so sorry for the wait. I could not go any longer without writing. Again this will be short but it is something for now. Don't hate me too much.  
:D**

**BPOV**

When I woke this morning Edward was not in bed. I just laid there thinking about last night. Where the hell did all of that come from? Don't get me wrong I loved every second of it. But this is so unlike him. Must call Ali!

I go down stairs to get my coffee… I cannot function without it. Edward is in the kitchen with Mia and he brings me a cup of coffee. There seems to be nothing different about him and I still cannot bring myself to talk to him about last night. Damn shyness!

Edward leaves for work and takes Mia with him. He kisses me bye and this kiss is so unlike any other. Thinking yet again I am jelly. Hmmm… I must figure this out so I can make sure this happens again. Maybe Ali can help me…..

So I call Ali…

"Morning Bella how was your night and did you hide everything?"

"Ali OMG you will never believe what happened last night. I think last night was the best night ever!"

I tell her everything from walking in and finding Edward cooking to the minute I fell asleep.

"OMG, Bella! So how was this morning?"

"That's the thing Ali, nothing was different. I wonder if Edward has been reading some of my stories."

"Girl I wonder the same thing sometimes about Jasper. It's like he does these amazing things with my body, then for days after acts like nothing happened. I just don't get it."

"I know one thing, whatever it was that got into him last night needs to happen more often!"

"Ali I have a beep."

" Hahaha, you and your damn beeps. I'll wait."

"Hello"

"Bella, it's Rose."

"Hey Rose, what's up?"

"Just seeing if you want to grab a coffee with me."

"Yeah sure, ummm I have Ali on the other line let me get back to her. What time and where?"

"OH! Bring her with you! What about 20 minutes at Starbucks?"

"Sounds good. I'll see if she can come, and I will meet you there."

"Ok Ali. Sorry that was Rose."

"Oh the girl you met at VS?"

"Yes, she wants me to meet her for coffee and she wants you to go too."

"OK! When and where? Starbucks in 20."

"OK, see you then."

**EPOV**

I cannot believe I waited so long to do all of that to Bella last night. I was so scared she would not like it. But damn her body responded to me so well. I thought I would cum before I was even inside her. Well I am not ready for the big night I have planned yet, so I will just play it cool this morning. I get Mia up and had coffee ready when Bella woke up. I was on my way to work and I could not help myself. I kissed my wife with everything I had in me. And I could tell how it affected her. She is lucky I had a hold of her.

"Mia, daddy forgot something I will be right back ok."

"OK daddy, can you play my CD while I wait?"

"Sure baby."

So I put her CD on for her and head into the house. Bella is on the phone and I am sure she is talking to Ali. I swear those two can talk forever. I once found Bella on the phone and on Facebook. She was talking with Ali on the Phone and on Facebook. That's a little much, rite. While going for what I forgot I heard some of what she was saying "That's the thing Ali, nothing was different. I wonder if Edward has been reading some of my stories." I had to figure out what she was talking about, so I listened. I do not think she knew I was still there; I took Mia out a few minutes ago.

I never knew this was the type of things her and Ali talked about. Well now I know she liked last night. But I have to watch myself, I do not want her knowing that I have been reading the stories she reads, at least not until the big night. Shit she is getting off the phone and I have to leave, she cannot see me.

"Daddy what took so long?"

"I had a hard time finding what I needed baby. You ready to go?"

"Of course daddy, I was waiting for you. I have been ready for forever."

I have to figure this out, looks like I am going to have to be sneaky for awhile.

**BPOV**

For some reason I had this feeling that I was not alone. Oh well, must just be one of those things I guess.

*_Starbucks*_

I walk in and Rose comes running and hugs me like we have been friends for years. I think I'm gonna really like her. We go to the table and Ali is already there.

"Hey Ali, how did you know this was Rose?"

Rose cut in "This little thing just came right up to me and said Hi I'm Ali, Bella should be here soon. If she wasn't so damn little I might have smacked her."

"Oh Bella, you told me what she looked like, and there are not too many people who match her."

Rose just gave me this look.

"Relax Rose, she said that you were the most beautiful woman she has seen!"

"Aww Bella, Thanks babe."

"Bella, Bella, Bella, did you tell Rose about last night?"

"No miss obnoxious I did not have time yet."

"ok SPILL!"

So I retold the story to Rose.

"OMG Bella, that is fucking hot!"

"I know rite! But now I want to know where it came from."

"Girl just go with it. This could help you out with the plans you are making, now you know he will do more than just plain sex."

We talked for what seemed like hours about anything and everything. We made plans to make this a weekly thing of going for coffee. They want to help me with details for the weekend, I think I might just let them.

On my way home now, I think I am gonna go see if I have an update. I was so excited this morning I did not even check. Hmmmm…. That is odd, what is my husband doing to me.

**Ok, so that is all for now. Leave some love, and if I get enough reviews it might make me update faster.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N. Ok about this chapter, I am taking things from my life and my friends lives. So if any of this has happened to you, do not be scared to speak up… cuz come on these things are funny if you think about it.**

**BPOV**

So I have 2 more days till my mom takes Mia. I really need to get a start on the plan for this weekend. What to do, what to do? I found a fic that has bondage. Now I will be the first to tell you that I never thought I would like that. But holy hell I found out that I did. I had to jump in the shower yet again. Have I mentioned before how much I love my shower head? Well I think bandage is a little much for right now. I think I will start out slow. But later there will be bondage, oh yes there will be bondage.

Right now I am at my computer looking threw my stories to find something I can try this weekend when Edward comes in. He stands there for a minute looking over my shoulder like he is seeing what I am reading.

"Bella I am gonna get a shower and head to bed."

"Ok I will be up in a few."

Hmmm I wonder if I meet him in bed maybe we can have another hot night.

I decided to put on something a little….. Well it did not cover much. I sat on the bed and waited. It seemed like forever for him to come out. I think I changed positions 100 times to try and look sexy. But some ways I just looked stupid. Come on I know you have been there. Edward walks in right when I am changing positions again in nothing but a towel. Busted!

"Bella, what are you doing?" He laughed at me. I don't blame him I would have laughed too.

"Just waiting for you."

"Well here I am."

And yet again I freeze up, I just sit there and don't say anything. All I can do is star at his towel like a damn idiot who has not seen him this way a million times before. What the hell is my problem? I know what I want but yet can't act on it.

"Bella is something wrong?" Great now he must think I'm nuts.

"No just thinking."

"Well how's that going for you?" This time he says it with a little chuckle.

"Hmmm, not too sure."

Then he does something I never expected he comes over, gets down on his knees and kisses me. WOW, ummm what was I thinking again? Whatever, does not matter.

He pushes me back till I am laying on the bed and he is over me. He kisses me all over and starts to take my clothes off, well what little bit of clothing I have on.

"As much as I love what you are wearing, it must go." Hmmm yup jelly again.

The next thing I knew my clothes are off and the only thing touching the bed was my shoulders. How the hell did that happen? But holy shit I am not complaining. By the time Edward was done I had 3 O's and I mean BIG O's. But then OMG I cannot believe what happened next, Edward put my body down on the bed and this noise came out of my lower very satisfied area that has never happened before. I felt my face heat up and wanted to shrink into the bed. But Edward either did not notice or did not care. I was too mortified to say anything. It took me a minute to get back into it. But once I did, it was fucking hot. Edward worshiped me for awhile longer. Then before I knew it I was flipped over and my ass was in the air. Let me tell you, in this position he hit places I never knew were there. By the time we were done I was spent. He held me then we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I called Ali and told her about my night and we started to plan for tomorrow.

"Bella, I'm telling you shave it all off. Edward will love it."

"I don't know Ali. I mean I trim and there is not much hair there but all of it."

"Yes Bella, ALL of it. I shave mine all the time."

"Ok Ali I will give it a go."

So I get off the phone and jump in the shower. Here I go, man I hope I don't cut there. That would be a bitch. Ok let me tell you this if fucking work. This takes forever, how many different directions can hair grow in? Mine goes everywhere. I am sure I look like a fucking idiot the way I have to bend to make sure I can see and that I got it all. That would be cute if I left a patch of hair. Well 20 minutes later and I am smooth as a baby's butt. Where the hell did that saying come from anyway?

I'm getting dressed and this feels weird like something is missing. Oh yeah fucking duh, your hair dumb ass. Edward better like this. It takes some time to get used to, but now I do not notice anything different.

OK so here is the plan for this weekend. I will drop Mia off at my mom's house then go home and cook for Edward. But I think I am going to cook in something I bought at VS. Then after we eat I will take him to the shower and wash him maybe tease him a little. When I am done having my fun with him I will make him sit on the bed blind fold him and use some strawberry warming lotion on him, and give him the best blow job he has ever had. I plan to make him cum in hard and fast. My record is 2 minutes. That is something because when I give Edward a blow job and not trying to make him cum right away he can last forever. The only thing is he is not allowed to touch me till I sat so. I have not figured out yet what to do after the blow job to get him ready again, but I think it will come to me. Now: to just be able to do all of this without freezing up. That is going to be hard. I don't know why I freeze up. I mean for fucks sake I am married to the man, I should be able to do anything to him, with him, or in front of him.

**A.N. Sorry it's short. So what do you think so far? Thanks for reading, even if you don't review. But I love reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N. The only thing I can say is sorry it took so long… enjoy **

***Bella***

So Friday is here and man am I a mess. I hope I do not freeze up tonight. I decided to call out of work today for a personal day. I knew I was going to need some time to get myself ready, and talk myself into just doing this and not backing out like I always do. I still have to figure out why I freeze up and put a stop to it.

My mom came and picked Mia up an hour ago and now I am getting ready to cook. I am showered and wearing a very tiny pink get up from VS. (Man I hope this works) I have the chicken going and putting the salad together when I hear Edward come in.

"Mmmm, something smells good" he says as he comes in the kitchen.

From behind I hear him gasp and whatever he had in his hands hit the floor. Hmmm guess that means he likes it.

"Bella….." he cannot even finish. A second after my name comes out of his mouth I feel his hands on me.

"I take it you like what I bought?" I asked him. He does not answer me just attacks me.

"I take that as a yes" he kisses every place he can reach right now. He lifts me to sit on the counter.

"What are you doing to me woman? This… this is… shit" I smirk at him

"I thought I would buy something for you when I was out. I see it did what I wanted it to do." He then reaches around me and turns off the stove.

"Edward what are you doing?" He yanks me off of the counter and I am shocked,

"the only thing I want right now is you." Well damn, maybe I can still work my plan in somewhere, but I am not going to argue with what he wants. He walks me over to the table and sits me on top. He pulls a chair over and sits right in front of me. He starts to kiss my knees and works his way up. But that ass skips right over where I want him. I let out a huff and he says "hmmm is there something you want Bella?"

"you know damn well what I want."

" Be a little patient and let me enjoy you." I think I just melted. He finally has his mouth where I want no need him. I feel like I'm gonna cum the second his tongue touches me. I am moaning and cannot seem to stay still. He throws his arm over my legs to keep me still

"stay still or I will stop and tie you down" That did it I lost it. My toes curled and my head felt all fuzzy, I think I was saying things but not so sure.

While I came down he is placing kisses all over me, then looks up at me "you ok there Bella?" with a chuckle added.

"mmm yeah I'm good. Now your turn." I push him back and jump off of the table. He starts to get up, I place a hand on his shoulder "stay there and do not move" damn where did that come from. I am looking for something to blind fold him. Damn it everything is in the bedroom. I grab a dish towel and a chip clip. I walk over to him and his eyes get big.

"what are you doing with that?"

"Oh nothing. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"then sit back and enjoy". I place one hand on his shoulder and hold everything in my other hand and make a circle around him. He watches my every move. I stop behind him on my second pass and place the dish towel over his eyes and use the chip clip to hold it in place. I hear and see him suck in a breath. I place my hand back on his shoulder and walk around to face him. I move my hand down his chest and stop at his button on his jeans. I work my way back up to his neck and I feel him let out a huff .

"not nice is it?" I work my way back down and undo his jeans and he lifts up for me to pull them off. He springs to life

"well now what do we have here?"

"Bella" he warns. I take him in my hand and stroke up and down. Already he is moaning and his head is on the back of the chair.

"Do you like that?"

"Hmmmm" is all he can manage. I then lick him from base to tip and he jumps a little. I fully put him in my mouth and within seconds he is moving with me. I keep this up for a few minutes and then I hum and he loses it. He is moaning and cussing and pulling my hair. I give him a minute to calm down and he pulls me to him.

"Bella, where did that come from? I'm not complaining at all because I loved it. But this is not you."

"I thought I would try something new, it took me some time to get up the nerve to do this." I look down and my face is all red.

"Bella baby, don't hide from me. If I knew this is what you wanted I would have given it to you." This shocked me.

"Is there anything else you want?" I try to tell him but I can't

"we will work on it" is all he said.

***Edward***

That was fucking hot and unexpected, hands down best blow ever. I wonder where that came from; I hope there is more where that came from. I have a feeling she is going to love what I have planned for her. I will let her finish cooking and wait till we are headed to bed to show her what I have planned. I just hope it's not too much.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N. I am so so so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I got to a point and was not really sure where it was going, and then life got busy. I know some have forgotten this story, for those who have not thank you for hanging in there. So off to see what Edward has waiting upstairs.**

**As always I own nothing but the dirty things I make these people do.**

***Bella***

As I get up and redress myself to finish cooking, I am left wondering where the hell that came from. Don't get me wrong I SO loved it, but just damn. Ya know. As I am cooking I can't help but thinking about what just happened. Somehow I missed that Edward had left the room. When I feel his arms around me I jump.

"where were you just now?" Edward asked me

I reply " just thinking, I didn't realize I had zoned out. Sorry."

Edward said " Bella baby don't be sorry. You look hot with you lip in your mouth all spaced out."

I finish cooking and let him know it is time to eat. We eat with lite conversation going. He then helps me clean up and we decide to watch tv for a bit. I tell him I am ready to head up.

"yeah I think im ready too." Well that is odd Edward hardly goes to bed with me at the same time.

We are heading up stairs, Edward goes to the bedroom and I head to the bathroom. When I come to the bedroom Edward is sitting on the bed with this look on his face like he is debating about something.

"Edward is everything ok?" I ask him

"huh, oh yeah baby everything is just fine."

Ok well if he says so. I head over and get ready for bed. But instead of my usual t-shirt, I decide to go with a little tank and boy shorts. I walk over to the bed to notice Edward is down to his boxers. He grabs my ass and pulls me to him. Shocked I yelp, yeah you heard me right I yelp, what the hell is that anyway. I don't know but I did it.

"baby you look sexy in this" Edward whispered in my ear.

"oh stop you." I start but he shuts me up with his fingers.

"Bella don't even start that shit with how you see yourself. Damn it you have to see yourself the way I see you. I know I have lacked on showing you just how beautiful and sexy you are and for that im sorry. But damn woman you drive me nuts."

Well damn what the hell am I to say to that. I do the only thing I can think of, I kiss him with everything I have. This kiss curls my toes and I am lost in it. The next thing I knew I was laying on the bed with Edward above me. He breaks the kiss and works his way to my ear and whispers, "Bella I want to try something. Do you trust me?"

"yes Edward I do with my life." I don't know what he is talking about, but its true I do trust him.

Edward stands up and walks over to the dresser. I am a little more confused at this point. When he turns around he is holding two of his ties. I tilt my head as to ask him what is he doing. He just smiles at me, and walks to the bed. Sexiest fucking thing ever. This better be leading to something good or I will be heading to visit my shower head. Just sayin.

"Bella I need you to lay on the bed and give me your arms." Holy shit, is all I can think. Is this really happening? I so hope so. I lay down and give him my hands, he ties them one at a time to the bed. Then he climbs on the bed and sits between my legs. For a minute he just sits there looking at me. He then leans down and starts to kiss me. He is covering me with kisses and I feel like I am going to explode. His hands are all over my body. He is trying to take off my tank but stops and remembers that he tied my hands. We both looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh.

"well this is not going as smooth as I planned. Hmmm" he says and I think he is going to untie me. Oh hell no that is not happening.

"Edward just put the bottom of the shirt behind my head." He does so and continues his teasing of my body.

"I know I rushed before and should have said something, but I love the fact that you are bare for me. You almost gave me a heart attack." He says between kisses. He makes his way down my body and focuses where I need him most. Ok I don't know where this man learned how to do this to my body and right now I cannot think about that. I can't think about anything clearly. With what he is doing to me my mind feels like mush. And OMG with my hands tied and not being able to touch him is hard but really fucking hot. The next thing I know I feel a tightness in my stomach and I am seeing starts. Fuck I thought that was not real, that people just made that shit up.

While coming down Edward looks at me and says "baby are you ok" with a little smirk on his face. "Edward I am more then ok. That was OMG I have no words." He laughs and starts to untie my hands. With no warning at all he flips me over. Holy hell I have who is this man and what has he done with my husband. Don't care as long as he keeps this up. I feel him come up behind me and he rubs his head over my wetness and pushed into me. I cry out at the sensation. He takes me hard and fast and I am loving every second of it.

A few more thrust and he pulls out and I whimper, damn it give it back. But he has a plan I am flipped over again. He puts one leg over his shoulder and enters me again. The only thing I heat myself saying is "harder please for the love of god harder." And he does as I say. I feel myself at that point again and he moves and holy shit right there and I yell it. I thought my last orgasm was amazing this one was a hundred times better. I had to grab him to anchor myself. He comes seconds behind me.

We lay there spent and panting. I want to ask but I am scared. Oh fuck it, whats the worse that can happen. Rite.

"Edward that was amazing. Where did that come from? Don't get me wrong I loved every second of it. But I just want to know and know why it hasn't always been like this."

Edward takes a breath and kisses me lightly. "Bella, if I would have known this turned you on I would have been doing this all along." He looks down then back at me with a look of, well I don't know really what kind of look. "Bella, I have been reading some of the things you leave up on the computer. And well I looked further into them. I also started reading fanfiction. And I must say they are addicting. I picture you in all the stories and all these things I want to try with you.

OMG Edward has been reading fan fic. That is, that is well hot as hell. So I kiss him. He chuckles at my reaction and says "baby I take it that you like the fact that I am reading what you read and want to try some things with you."

"Edward are you kidding me, I love the fact that you are reading what I am. And I so want to try things with you."

We lay there for a few minutes and he turns to me with an idea. " how about if we pick stories that we have read and show each other scenes that we want to try? We can talk about the things we don't want to do also." He gives me a look waiting for my reaction.

"I would love if we did that. I want to explore everything with you." He sighs as if he got the answer he wanted. We lay there for a little longer and fall asleep in each others arms.

**A.N ok there it is, the moment we waited for. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Again, sorry for the late update. But I know this story is coming to an end and I'm not sure how I want it to go. So for now sit back read and enjoy. And again I own nothing but the thoughts in my head and what I make these people do with them.**

Well to say life has been good for the past two weeks would be an understatement. Things with Edward have been well for lack of better words hot. But like every other married couple with a child there has not been a lot of sex. But luckily Edward's mom asked if she could take Mia for the weekend. So I jumped on that chance. I just finished another FF and there is a scene I want to try, but yet again I have a feeling I am going to freeze up. I still have no idea why I am so shy about this around Edward.

I am pulled from my thoughts by my phone.

**Hey bitch. What are u up 2? *A***

**Just thinking bout this weekend. U? *B***

**OOOOHH what do u have planned? *A***

**Well Edward's mom is taking mia and I just finished a story. *B***

**What scene do u want? *A***

**Well I think I need a trip to see Rose. U in? *B***

**Hell yeah *A***

**Meet me at the mall in 30 *B***

"Hey Bella" Ali almost knocks me over hugging me. "ok ok ok I am so excited to see what you have in that little head of yours for Edward.

"Ali, breath. Damn woman. Hi how are you." I manage to get that out without laughing. Ali slaps my arm and drags me to see Rose.

"Hey what brings you two here." Rose asked. The normal greeting withheld because she was with a customer.

"OH Bella here will be kid free and has something in her head." Ali says with the biggest grin on her face I have ever seen.

"Well look around and I will be over when I'm done here."

Ali and I go looking and Rose is to us in no time. "So Bella, in need of new outfits already?" Rose asked with a little snicker.

"Well the others did not make it too far. They kinda rip easy" for some reason I blush when I say this.

"Hot damn Bella." They both say. Yes at the same time. Kinda freaky if you ask me.

After countless times of trying on outfits we find one that is perfect for this weekend.

While trying on everything I tell them of the scene that I read and want to try. They both get very excited and say that with the little amount of time I have I need to go to Spencer's since I don't have time to order anything. Rose decides to take her lunch and come with us. "Rose, are you sure you want to waste your lunch shopping with us?"

"Yes Bella I'm sure. Besides today is a short day for me. I will be fine."

We get to Spencer's and we are like three kids in a toy store. I mean really I'm surprised they did not kick us out. Ali comes up behind me with a pimp hat on and these big ass fake boobs on. She is dancing around and I thought I was going to piss myself. We calm down and get to it. We find what I need to pull off my scene. I leave the girls with promises of filling them in.

Later that evening, Edward arrives home to find Mia is with his mom and I can see his eyes darken a little. We sit down to eat while talking about our days. He can tell I'm thinking hard about something and ask what it is.

"Edward. I um… I went shopping today. And umm…"

"Bella come on you know you can talk to me about anything. What is it?"

"There is something I want to try. And ummm in my head I am all over it. But saying it is different. Its nothing big or too dirty. But umm I want to try. With you." I look down as I finish the words. Next thing I know is Edward is at my feet. He lifts up my chin and softly says "if its hard to say then why don't you just show me."

I again look down. Edward hmms for a second then hes gone. Before I can even think too much of it he is back and sits two glasses on the table. "Here love, maybe some liquid courage will help you out." I look and there are two shot glasses right there. I don't even ask what is in them and I down both. Edward laughs. "oops was one of them for you?" I ask blushing. "Bella I got them both for you but didn't think they would be gone so fast."

We head up stairs and I head for the bathroom where I put the bag from VS. my other bag is in the bedroom. I quickly change and the liquid courage is starting to kick in, not a lot just enough to relax me. I walk in the bedroom to Edward sitting on the bed. "Bella, you will lead everything tonight so you can have what you want. Take your time we have all night."

I walk over and kiss him with everything I have. While mentally telling myself _ok bella you can do this. This is your husband for fuck sake. Just pull up your big girl panties and knock it the hell off._ We continue with kissing and touching until I pull away and Edward just stares at me, but waits. I grab the bag from spencer's and open it. Edward sees whats inside. "a toy. Fuck me." I look at him and am happy he is taking this so well. He stands up and I am naked in seconds. Hmm he seems to really like this idea. He tries to take the toy but I tell him he can play when we do what I want with it first. He is out of his clothes so fast I thought my head would spin. I turn to face the bed and tell him to get behind me. He does so and starts touching me everywhere and nowhere all at once. In a few minutes I cant stand it anymore and tell him I need him inside me. But first I take one of the bullets (there are two bullets connected to one controller) and tell him to rub it up up and down my slit to get it wet then slowly push it inside me. He does as I say and I thought I was going to cum right there. After he has the bullet inside I tell him to slowly push his cock inside. And he does and fuck is flying out of his mouth when he is all the way in. I tell him to start moving. He finds a good pace and I bring the other bullet to my clit. And holy hell does it feel amazing. He starts to move a little faster but then pulls out. I whimper and begin to tell him to get back in when I feel his finger in me. Then his cock is back. I realize he was just getting his finger wet, then he says "I want to try something and if you don't like it tell me to stop." I hum in response. The next thing I knew his finger was at my ass teasing my entrance and slowly slips it in. at first im not sure if I like this or not. But the feeling of both bullets, his cock, and his finger is beyond words. When he picks up the pace I am done for. I explode around him and he follows a few stocks later.

We lay there spent. He kisses me then says "that was fucking hot. I want to play with them and you later." We both fall off to sleep in no time.


End file.
